Big Time Hope
by BTRWriter13
Summary: Logan loves Kendall. Kendall thinks he loves Logan. But they both don't know that. When Logan finally does reveal his feelings, will Kendall's reaction drive Logan away forever? Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone! I decided to stop being lazy and write a good story So, this came from an idea that popped into my head one night. I have lots of plans for this! And after the I will be writing another story. So, enjoy!**

**Big Time Hope**

**Chapter 1**

Logan's eyes fluttered slightly. He opened them to see the bright LA sun shining through his bedroom window. His bedroom, who was he kidding?_ Their_ bedroom. Yes, their. He turned to his left and saw a sight that made him fall more in love each day. His best friend, his love, his husband, sleeping peacefully with his arms thrown across him.

"Good morning," he whispered loud enough to wake him up. Kendall groaned and rolled over.

"Five more minutes Logie"

"No! Hun, today's our reunion day. We need to get ready!"

At this, Kendall shot up right. He quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Showering," he then smirked, "wanna join?"

Logan giggled and nodded, only replying back, "it's gonna be innocent, though."

He laughed at Kendall's pout. "We can do it any other time, Kenny."

Kendall seemed satisfied with the answer. They both stripped, turned the water on warm, and got in. After a few innocent touches here and there, they finished and got out. They brushed their hair, teeth, and went to get changed.

"Want waffles?" Logan asked.

"YES! I-I mean, yeah sure Logie.."

Logan laughed and finished getting ready. Afterwards, he went out to make Kendall's favorite morning meal. He was just putting the mix in when he felt strong arms wrap around him.

"Almost done?" an impatient Kendall asked.

"I just started making them!"

Logan quickly made the waffles and served us. They both ate in a comfortable silence when Kendall's phone buzzes.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, it's James!"_

"Oh, hey James! How are you and Carlos?"

"_Fantastic, excited for tonight! Are you and Logan prepared?"_

"Yes, James. We had rehearsal the last few weeks. We need to get going, we promised to help set-up. Bye!"

He hung up before he could say more. Logan and Kendall put away the dishes and headed out the door.

"Wow, the stage looks great! Good work dogs!" Gustavo yelled, startling Logan and Kendall.

"yeah, we came extra early," replied Logan.

"Well the concert starts in an hour, and fans are lining up. They actually miss you dogs!"

Kendall smiled brightly. He had never wanted to stop his music career, but gave it up to live with Logan. Logan was an ER doctor(1) and Kendall decided to try out for the LA Penguins(2), getting the spot on the team.

"Hey guys!" James yelled from the stage.

"Hey, long time no see!" Logan said sarcastically.

They all got up on the stage and behind the curtain. The show started in 10 minutes and they were required to stand there. Soon, the curtains opened and they ran out…

*End of future scene*

**A/N: 1. I have no idea what they are called :P**

**2. I know it's the LA Kings, but hey, this is fake stuff.**

**I know, this was awful. But, it's 12:30 AM and I'm just trying to get this in! This was a future scene, so for now on it will be how this all came to be and in they guys POVs. I have good stuff ahead, well at least I think so. Rate and review? Or not? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Remember when I said I had ideas? Yeah, not for this chapter. Only for the next one and on. I know, stupid. So here comes just a useless little filler.**

**Big Time Hope**

**Chapter 2**

**Logan's POV**

I threw my book down on the coffee table. I just couldn't concentrate. Every day, every week, m mind drifted off to…him. My best friend. Kendall, to be exact. I had loved him ever since I realized how protective and caring he is. And boy, did I fall hard. I had to tell someone, so I told James a few weeks ago.

So right now, all I could think about were those green eyes… I was cut out of my train of thought.

"Hey, Loge-ster! We need to talk."

"S-sure, James. About what?"

He glanced around quickly, and sat next to me on the couch.

"You need to tell him."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Tell Kendall, you idiot! You have been becoming more and more touchy feely around him, you eye fuck every chance you get, and you always stare at him with this…girly expression. Like, 'Oh, please love me and take me away!' look."

"I…I can't tell him James, you know that."

"I do, but if you don't hurry up he's gonna get a girl."

I sighed in defeat. I knew he was right. Kendall was just…gorgeous. Every girl, heck, guy wanted him. I got so jealous whenever he would flirt 'accidentally'. But when I tried to flirt with him, he would not, for some reason, make a flirty move back. This upset me at times, so I knew it was time. I would do it tomorrow.

"Tomorrow," I said, sighing.

"Good, now I gotta date with a mirror"

He did 'the face' and left, taking out his pocket mirror.

I laughed, saying "I need new friends…"

**Kendall's POV**

At the moment, I feel like a girl.

My emotions are all whacked. You see, sometimes I'll be nice, then rude, then flirty. It's weird. But the thing is…it happens only around Logan. I have thought about it for a while and I have come to the conclusion, that I may love him. At first I thought it was awful, my father telling me gays were bad. But the more I tried not to fall for him more, it did exactly the opposite. I started to not talk to him, then it turned into flirting with people around him. The odd thing was, when I did this, he tried flirting with me. But I didn't flirt back.

Carlos is the only one who knows this. I know, not the best idea. He would probably tell everyone my secret, but didn't. I was surprised. And grateful. If Logan found out, oh god. But worse, if my dad found out…he would come to LA to beat me.

I shivered at the thought and slowly stood up from the bench, walking back to the apartment. I walked in to see a sleeping Logan on the couch, and James and Carlos nowhere in sight. I sighed, picked up the boy bridal style, and carried him to our room. I gently placed him down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. God, does he look adorable…NO. No more of this. And here comes the emotions again. I need to just tell him. Tomorrow maybe.

I walked over to my bed, stripped to my boxers, and got in. I faced Logan's side of the room and sighed, knowing my life would get harder as it advanced.

**A/N: I kinda like emotional Kendall…lol. Anyways, just a filler chapter. Written at 1:30 AM. Next chapter will have some drama and hurt. Hopefully that will be up by Monday or Tuesday. Hope you like the plot so far! R&R!**


	3. Revelation

**A/N: I am SO sorry for this long wait! I'm just lazy. This chapter will hopefully be long. It's drama filled. And yeah. This is gonna be my last authors note, I hate telling you stuff :P**

**Big Time Hope****  
>Chapter 3<strong>

Kendall awoke the next morning feeling happy for once. He had accepted the fact that he was in love. But was still a little mixed up.

He hopped out of bed and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes before going into the bathroom to shower. He took a fast shower before going out and stuffing his sheets in his closet. But then he realized something. He forgot Logan was in the same room as him. He looked over to see Logan looking sound asleep. Kendall quickly got dressed and went out the kitchen to make him and everyone else some breakfast, his culinary skills actually being quite good. He got out everything he needed to make waffles when James and Carlos came out.

"Hey, Gustavo wants us in the studio today. He just called," James said once he saw Kendall.

Kendall groaned.

"But today was supposed to be our day off and I was gonna tell Lo-" he stopped before he said it.

Last night's dream was also enough for Kendall to muster up the courage to tell Logan. Yes, he was done with all his emotional, teen-girl-on-her-period, attitude and was just going to tell him. But as I said before, he still is messed up. 

"Tell what?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh nothing, go wake up Logan while I finish these waffles."

Kendall quickly finished making the waffles while James awoke Logan. I gave Carlos his plate and walked to my seat, putting the plates down for James and Logan on my way. James then came out with an adorable looking Logan, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, I made waffles!"

"Mmm, my favorite," Logan said as he came and sat down next to me.

"Listen, Kendall.." he said while taking a bite of his waffle.

"Hmmm?"

"I need to talk to you after rehearsal, about person things.."

"Yeah, sure, you can tell me anything! We're best friends."

Logan smiled at his response and went back to eating. Once everybody finished, Logan got the car keys and made their way to the Big Time Rush Mobile. After the short ride to Rocque Records, they all filed into the huge studio.

…

**Kendall's POV**

Throughout all rehearsal, I started wondering what Logan wanted to talk about. Was he in love with me? Nah, nah. That was a stupid thought. Well maybe he was having family problems? I don't know, but I wanna kn-

"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, DOG?"

Gustavo's yell brought me out of my thoughts. I realized I wasn't dancing like we were supposed to. I musta spaced out.

"Oh…um…sorry, Gustavo."

"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR STUPID SHANANIGANS. Back to work!"

The rest of rehearsal I just focused on my dancing. Pretty soon it was 5:00 and Gustavo let us go home. Logan looked tense when we first pulled out of the parking lot. He must be nervous….now I really wanna know what he wants to tell me. The ride back to the Palm Woods seemed to take forever as I waited in fear and anticipation for what he wanted to say. Why am I even freaking out over this?

We pulled into Palm Woods and exited the car, going upstairs.

"I'm gonna go down to the pool. Anyone wanna join?" James asked to us all.

"I'm in! Maybe the new girl is there…" Carlos replied.

James and Carlos got changed and came back out. "You two wanna come?"

"Nah, I have to help Kendall with homework."

"…what?" they both said laughing. "You'd rather do homework then hang at the pool? Okay, suit yourself."

I sighed in relief when they finally shut the door. Logan was shaking now. "Um…can we talk in our room please?" he asked, obviously tense.

"Yeah, come on" I grabbed his hand and pulled him into our room and sat down on my bed with him. We sat there for a while in an awkward silence while Logan bit his lip. He looked _so_ damn cute.

"Uh…listen, Kendall…I just wanna come out and say it without some huge speech." He took a deep breath, "Kendall, I love you. I have for so long now, and I can't stand keeping it in anymore. You make me crazy, you make me blush, you make my heart flutter! I just…" he sighed, obviously satisfied to get that out.

I sat there, shocked, my jaw hanging open. I didn't know how to respond. But what I did next was one of the worst things in my life, my dad came out in me.

"Get out, fag."

"w-what?.."

"YOU HEARD ME, GET OUT OF HERE YOU DIRTY FAG!" And then, out of no where, I hit him.

Right then the light that's usually in his eyes died away, and was replaced with nothing but sadness. He ran out of the room and I heard the front door slam. I had no idea where or how I said that, but I immediately wanted to reverse time. I abruptly started bawling my eyes out.

"WHY? WHY DID I FUCKING DO THAT? THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I JUST HIT AND CALLED HIM SOMETHING BAD, HE HATES ME! I HATE ME!" I yelled to know one. I can't believe I had just done that, become my father.

You see, when we lived back in Minnesota, I lived with my mom, dad, sister, AND brother. We were the happiest of families until one day in the summer.

"Guys, I have an announcement!" My brother, Gavin, said.

The whole family shuffled into the living room with confused looks.

"What is it, dear?" Mom asked.

"I have kept this long enough, and I want to let it out. Well, everyone….I'm gay" he said proudly.

The whole room stayed silent, in shock. It was all quiet until my dad spoke.

"YOU'RE _WHAT?"_

"I just told you, I'm-"

"I KNOW THAT, I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE MY SON IS A FAG!"

"Harold!" My mom said, shocked at her husbands outburst.

"NO, HE IS A STUPID LKITTLE FAG. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK, OR I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU."

Me, my sister, and my mom sat there while Gavin stood, looking more defeated then ever. He ran out without another word.

Since then, we have never heard from Gavin…

But now, here I am, acting just like my dad. Fucking dad. I hate him so much. I hate myself so much! I just lost one of my best friends and loves. I need to fix this…I need to go after him.

I fall back on my bed, dragging my hands down my face in defeat.

"I hate myself. Forever."

I then started crying uncontrollably, before running out of tears and falling asleep.

**A/N: okay, I lied. This is the last authors note. This chapter was the start of all the things to come, but the rest of the story will probably be Kendall's POV, even though I hate him right now. But I wrote it, so it's my fault…lol. Well I hope I didn't rush this too fast and it was okay-ish :P **


End file.
